I started this newsletter with tips on how individuals can define and protect their boundaries. I began there because boundaries are one of the few things we can control, and yes, even leaders have this need.
Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about the broader system. I’m pivoting to some love letters for people managers. We at Work Shrink believe:
This is one of the hardest times ever to be a people manager.
If that feels dramatic, look at Gallup’s Global State of the Workplace report. Their data shows manager engagement is declining. But what does “engagement” even mean, and why is it dropping?
From what I see in my practice and consulting work, many managers:
- Have more work than they or their teams can reasonably handle
- Are passing along work/life creep because it’s being passed onto them
- Have experienced constant changes in who they manage and who manages them
- Are expected to be emotional support for employees in a time when none of us are okay
- Are experiencing something like moral injury from layoffs: losing team members, peers, or their own sense of safety
- Are quietly carrying the fear they’ll either have to lay people off or be laid off themselves
These are not conditions that foster engagement.
There’s too much work, too much pressure, and not enough support.
Estimates vary, but let’s go with 250,000 jobs lost so far in 2025. That’s not just a statistic. It means remaining teams are absorbing more responsibilities. Managers are adapting workflows, managing emotional fallout, and delivering tough news — sometimes all at once.
According to Microsoft’s recent study, we’re living in an Infinite Workday. In theory, a global team could pass work across time zones seamlessly. In practice, it means people are being pulled into work during what used to be personal time.
And in case you missed it: I’ve spent the last two newsletters telling you to hold your boundaries.
My full reaction to that Microsoft report deserves its own post. But for now, speaking as a burnout therapist, former global teammate, and participant in a workplace efficiency project at a once-beloved tech company:
976-NOPE.
We’re not OK.
That same Gallup report found that the percentage of people “thriving” has dropped to 52% in the US and 56% in Australia/New Zealand. Managers, in particular, are struggling. Wellbeing scores dropped five points for older managers and seven points for female managers. Female manager engagement scores also dropped seven points. Coincidence?
Managers are being asked to hold space for struggling employees, but who’s holding space for them?
The current world of work is taking a toll on manager mental health.
There’s a growing body of research around “moral injury,” a concept adjacent to PTSD. According to the Syracuse University Moral Injury Project:
“Moral injury is the damage done to one’s conscience or moral compass when that person perpetrates, witnesses, or fails to prevent acts that transgress one’s own moral beliefs, values, or ethical codes of conduct.”
Managers who’ve had to carry out layoffs or sit through them, or who live with the fear of either, may feel guilt, sadness, anger, or helplessness. That kind of unprocessed emotional weight is not just hard; it’s dangerous to the psyche.
Gallup’s Recommendations Fall Short
Gallup recommends three ways to increase manager engagement. Like a good improviser, I want to “yes, and” to each one.
1. “Ensure all managers receive training to cut extreme disengagement in half.”
Sure. You wouldn’t send a mechanic to work without a toolbox, so why expect a new manager to succeed without training? As someone who’s designed and facilitated manager development for over a decade, I’ll say this loudly: Training can build skills and awareness. But it can’t:
- Give managers the time they need to support their teams
- Fix the problem of the wrong people becoming managers 🫳🏻🎤
2. “Teach managers coaching techniques to boost performance by 20–28%.”
Love this in theory. But what is coaching if:
- The manager has a direct stake in the employee’s performance
- The company doesn’t actually support career development?
When I coach, I’m not responsible for hiring, firing, or performance reviews. My role is to help clients reach their goals, not squeeze more output from them. Managers can absolutely become better mentors and learn to ask great coaching questions but blending the roles of manager and coach can be confusing and counterproductive.
3. “Increase manager wellbeing by 32% through ongoing manager development.”
Yes … and. Gallup says that just having someone at work who supports your development can raise that number to 50%. But what if that support also came from outside of work?
Every manager could benefit from having a coach. And:
Every manager could benefit from therapy.
Someone recently asked me what the most important manager skill is. I said, “self-awareness.” The quickest route to self-awareness? Therapy.
I don’t say that just because I’m a therapist, I say it because I’ve done the work myself.
Managers shouldn’t be therapists to their team members. But we can learn from how good therapists protect their emotional capacity:
- Therapists consult with peers to get support, ideas, perspective, and validation.
- Therapists build deep awareness of their boundaries and triggers so they can self-regulate in difficult moments, thereby decreasing the impact to the other person.
Managers, I see you. Don’t forget: the heart must pump blood to itself before it can pump blood to the rest of the body.
If you’re in California and want to work with a therapist who gets it, I have a few openings.
If you’re a company leader ready to support your managers in a way that actually moves the needle, let’s talk.
What resonated most with you, or what would you like me to go deeper on?